The Obligatory Opening Monologue

Zits. B.O. Hair in new places. New places without hair. Heh heh heh. Ah, adolescence. Join us in celebrating the 15th annual GSP raft trip. Yes -- the silver minus 10th iteration of the grand July pilgrimmage to the balmy ridges of West Virginia. The GSP Raft Trip has definitely crossed the magic puberty threshold (no not that one! slap!): 14 years old.

Why 14 and not 15, if this is the 15th annual trip? Might as well ask whether the 21st century begins January 1, 2000 or January 1, 2001! (And may the River Gods help you if you have computer-programmed something that breaks after December 31, 1999.) The first raft trip was in 1981. That's 14 years ago.

Consider the changes we've seen as the trip has reached adolescence. From blue-painted showers with moths perched inside to particle board lounges with grown-up hellgrammites (whatever those are) perched outside. From Honda Civics to minivans. From Summersville to Hico (not yet to Greenbrier, my friends!).

(Trivia question: which current MRT employee used to run the Mountain Manor campground where the GSPs camped during the early '80s? She remembers, too, when the GSPs were the loudest and most obnoxious in the campground. Guess she ain't met the Boisterous Camping Neighbors next to the cow field at the MRT campground.)

The majestic New River Gorge beckons again. How many of you can't wait for thunderstorms (sometimes near, but usually over the next ridge), MRT (rhymes with dirt) food, Boisterous Camping Neighbors (they keep going and going...), wonderful state parks (I am not kidding you!), guide-on-the-bus jokes, and the beauty of a West Virginia summer night sky. And beer, of course.

A prize to someone who can come up with some good guide-on-the-bus jokes so we don't have to listen to theirs.

 

Actual Potentially Useful Information

The grand pooh-bah trip, the raison d'etre, the BIG DANCE...the place to watch humans get hosed with condiments...the RAFT TRIP DOWN THE LOWER NEW RIVER...has been scheduled for Monday July 3. This year provides a great opportunity for an OFFICIAL FOUR-DAY WEEKEND. NO LAME EXCUSES for not showing up until the day before the rafting.

Sorry for the SHOUTING. Too much Dave BARRY.

Dave would shout about the price, too. This year's trip costs $82 including rafting (six-to-a-self-bailing-raft), WV tax (6%), dinner (hot dogs/hamburgers/vegetable/salad/soft-drink/apple-pie) at MRT's apres-raft mountain chalet, and a slush fund contribution that covers ice for everyone, firewood for the campfires, charcoal for the Rambo grill, a cool gift, copying and postage, phone calls, and my 1994 IRA deposit.

If you are a non-Monday-rafting adult (chronologically OR emotionally, not necessarily both), you still need to make the $18 slush fund contribution -- cool gift included.

We will camp as usual at the convenient MRT Campground, the land of Ray St. Clair and the Boisterous Camping Neighbors. The camping charge is $4.50 per person per night for Friday and Saturday nights and $4.00 per person per night for other nights, payable when you arrive. There are decent motels not too far away (yet not too close) as well as Hawks Nest State Park Lodge in nearby Ansted.

Might as well tell the rest of the financial story here. Videos of the Lower New trip (spectacular! goolabonga! I am not kidding you!) are being handled as they were last year. If you are Pretty Sure you want one, check the form and include an extra $20. The price formula is $140 for the taping (includes one video) plus $15/copy, making the end-user per-copy cost $15 plus $125/n for you math weenies. So, for example, if only 12.5 people order videos you will be asked to make up the difference of $5.

Child care during the main Lower New raft trip has been arranged in the past by individuals who need it, usually with Dren St. Clair who says she is willing again this year. Contact me if you need more info.

The Getaway Morning breakfast on July 4 (this year) for early departers (and those early-rising-late-departers practicing tent-strike-avoidance but lacking wait-for-the-pancake-house discipline) will be continued, with a twist. This year you do NOT need to order food in advance or pay money. We'll just use the slush fund remnants to pick up a coupla gallons of milk, a bunch of bananas, and an 18-pack of sugary single-serving cereal and put it out on a table at 6 AM -- first come, first served.

 

Ancillary Activities (for the Thirsty)

No contests this year. But we will have the Annual Homebrew Tasting, hosted by "volunteer" Don Wegeng, on Sunday afternoon. A wort to the wiser...get brewing now!

This is as good a place as any to remind all comers that there is NOT enough homebrew to last four hours, let alone the whole four-day weekend. You are as always requested to BRING (lots of) additional BEER (perhaps of a type native to your home area). I am not kidding you!

 

Ancillary Activities (for the Hungry)

Because of past successes with communal Chili Tastings and Buffalo Wing Tastings, we throw the doors open for a grand Communal Feast and Food Tasting on Sunday at dinnertime. Bring Chili. Bring Wing Sauce (and wings). Bring cookies. Whatever. (Don't bring lots of things for this, just bring one thing in quantity and nosh with everyone else.) And BRING YOUR RECIPES because...

We are putting together a GSP cookbook! This will probably NOT be the cool gift this year because it will be too much work to get done by July. But --> we would like your favorite recipe(s) (of any type) for the book. Send one, send three, send ten. Special sections will be provided for Beer Recipes and Chili Recipes and Buffalo Wing Sauce recipes, but submitting one of these does NOT count as your contribution because we want to get some other types of recipes too (if anyone has any).

(Personal Historical Note -- permitted because the Brunners have still never published a Christmas Form Letter -- Holly has published a cookbook once before...the aptly named Recipes From Holly, which was MacPaint-illustrated by your Executive Director in late 1986 in what proved to be a pivotal point in a nascent romance. I am not kidding you! Who says being handy with a mouse won't get you babes?)

We hope everyone who gets this letter will get serious about the cookbook thing. Every recipe will be personally credited in the book. Provide as many recipes you like. (If you are a professional in the field of Beer, Chili, Wings, or general cookery, we will credit your employer if you so desire...heh heh heh....)

We'd like to get a rafter of recipes soon just in case we get enough to publish before July. Submit recipes by mail or fax to the Office of the Executive Director, GSP'95 Rafting Central. Electronic submissions will also be welcomed (by our fingers, especially).

The GSP Cookbook (First Edition) will be made available in quantity (for cash $$$) once it is published so that you can give them away as gifts to loved ones and angry voters.

 

Ancillary Activities (for the Dry)

The Ducky/Hardboat river trip, probably on Saturday, will be organized once again this year by "volunteer" Rich Kulawiec (we think) (at least he didn't say he wouldn't do it!). You too can be the navigator of your own single-occupant Ducky "raft" (looks like a fat kayak but bounces off rocks instead of splintering). If you want to do the Ducky thing try contacting Rich at rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu or call him at 610-459-0356 (he didn't know I'd print his phone number...he didn't know I'd put in anything at all here...heh heh heh).

 

The FIRST GSPiglet Raft Trip

Piglets are getting older. Piglet romance is only a few years downstream. Think puberty and driver's licenses. Here's the first step to teenage depravity: many piglets are now eligible to RAFT!!!

Here's the deal. You've gotta be 12 years old to go down the Lower New (you'd think that would eliminate a few "adult" GSPs, wouldn't you?). But the official age is 7 years old for the gentler Upper New, AND MRT has agreed to officially accept our 6-year-old piglets. Absolutely no one who is not 6 by July 2, 1995 need apply.

In recognition of what ought to be at least ten GSPiglets who will be the required 6 years old, we are soliciting parents who want to take Johnny or Susie along. Some of you have already heard about this and expressed your interest. The Piglet Trip -- an "express" trip in this first incarnation -- will depart MRT at 11:30 AM on Sunday July 2 and return around 3:30 or 4:00 PM. If you are like me you are thinking "shorter is better" with young kids on the river.

The Piglet Trip costs $26 for Piglets and $52 for adults, including WV tax but nothing else (no food, no gift, no slush fund contribution). Guess they pay the bus drivers more than the guides.

 

In Case You Plan To Whine About Your Cool Gift...

You can take pride in your genuine 15th Annual GSP Raft Trip BUTTON. Jeff Schwab will again individually mass-produce these cherished hancrafted collectors items...IF we can come up with a funny (heh heh heh) SLOGAN. Your opportunity to help with this is on the Signup Form.

 

What Happens Next?

After you sign up (by the April 30 deadline) you will receive (a few weeks before the trip) a confirming letter containing the usual assortment of maps, hints on what to bring, and information about points of local interest. Anytime between now and the end of June feel free to contact me to ask any questions or to offer any help. (Our side yard fence is due to be painted this summer, and we've been thinking about doing a little landscaping....)

 

A Word To The Unwashed

If you've never been on a GSP Raft Trip, but a friend has given you this brochure or you have gotten permanently trapped on the mailing list, STOP! Don't throw it away! Is this thing one big inside joke, attended only by a bunch of graying, balding geeks and their bratty kids, or is it really fun? Answer: it is really fun. I am not kidding you! Sign up and enjoy the warmth and camaraderie of a weekend in "almost Heaven."

Now what did he mean by "unwashed?" Heh heh heh....

See you in West Virginia!

Dan Brunner
Office of the Executive Director
GSP Rafting Central 1995
7 E. Westfield Blvd.
Indianapolis, IN 46220
 

Tel: (317) 253-7613 (home)
(317) 466-0664 (work)
Fax: (317) 466-0821
Email: 75010.2247@compuserve.com